weTHRIVE – David Yarn

David Yarn

Certified Financial Planner™ with CF Services Group, Inc.

David is a Certified Financial Planner™ Professional with over 15 years experience in the financial services industry serving individuals, families, and small businesses in the Maryland, DC and Virginia. Specializing in helping clients align their investments with their values, David helps clients prepare for the future. David understand that it is possible to both do well and do good!

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weTHRIVE Episode 3 Transcript

Casey Clark (00:00):

Hi everyone. And thank you for joining us on the we thrive podcast, where we share stories from entrepreneurs around the world about how they’re creating an impactful legacy. I’m your host, Casey Clark founder and chief growth officer with C consulting. And today I’ll be interviewing David yarn with CF services groups. David, thank you so much for being our guest today.

David Yarn

My pleasure.

Casey Clark

Fantastic. So tell us a little bit about you.

David Yarn (00:32):

Well, as I said, my name is David Barnard, a certified financial planner. I’m from North Carolina. I lived in Spain for five years. And from there I moved to Maryland and have been here since 1997. So it’s been a good long run here in Maryland. Awesome. yeah, go ahead. Sorry.

Casey Clark (00:57):

Oh, you’re fine. So as you know, the name of our podcast is we thrive. So what exactly does thriving mean to you?

David Yarn (01:07):

So when I think of the word thriving I think of being able to do well, I mean, who doesn’t want to do well, right. And want to be able to provide for my family. My kids, my wife provide a life for them that, that I think that they deserve. But at the same time, being able to do good doing good for other people, it’s not enough to just be able to thrive for myself by doing well, but being able to help others as well. Whether that be through charitable giving to organizations or whether it’s through actually just helping other people in need. When I see it having the ability whether it’s financially or time wise or talent-wise to be able to help other people.

Casey Clark (01:55):

I love, how you separated the three. I felt like a lot of times when people hear giving, they automatically think financial.

David Yarn (02:03):

It is. And sometimes it’s not finances that people need. Sometimes they do need just time you know, people going through an emotional situation don’t need money, but they need emotional support. So they need someone with time to spend with them, listen to them, take them out to a restaurant to get some food and just hang out or go shopping or whatever. Talk on the phone. You know, people who may need things done around the house. A lot of times you can help them out with your talents if you are able to do stuff that is more impactful than just hiring somebody to go do it for them.

Casey Clark (02:45):

Absolutely. Yeah.

So what obstacles have you faced when you’ve been trying to thrive personally?

David Yarn (02:52):

I think one of the biggest obstacles that, that people have, and I think it’s unfortunate, most people don’t even realize it is their own self-doubt. You know, we have a tendency to always be our worst critics, our own worst critics, and we’re very harsh on ourselves. And so when we allow those feelings of self-doubt to creep in we start to think, well, I can’t do this now, whether it’s helping for myself or, you know, doing something for me and my family or whether it’s helping other people, we feel inadequate. And a lot of times those feelings of inadequacy lead us to inaction. One of my favorite, you know, kind of joke line quotes is from an animated movie, cause little kids that’s pretty much mostly what we watch is  Robots and one of the characters says, never try, never fail. That’s my motto. And I think a lot of people, when you have self-doubts, that’s what you end up doing is, well, if I don’t try, then I can’t fail. So I might as well not try.

Casey Clark (03:50):

Yeah. And I think so many people steer away from failure. Like it kind of builds on that self-doubt and when failure is really great, actually

David Yarn (04:02):

It is, but it’s not fun. No, it’s not what I mean, but you know, that’s how you learn and grow, but it’s, it’s a difficult process. I mean, people would love for life to be easy, but unfortunately easy doesn’t build character.

Casey Clark (04:17):

Absolutely. You’re just giving us all kinds of nuggets. So do you have a specific time that kind of stands out to you where that self-doubt was kind of crippling to you?

David Yarn (04:32):

So a while back when I I went through a divorce from my first wife and I was, we were going through the divorce at the same time I left my job because I was basically given the, the, the choice to either quit or be fired. I had a really bad boss things weren’t working out in the year that I had been with her. We were on a team of four people and we’d gone through 10 people in one year. And yeah, it was just not working out for any of us with her. And so I was like, forget it, I’ll take my severance and I’ll leave. And so I found myself going through divorce and unemployed and thinking, okay, what am I going to do with my life? How am I going to make through this? I’ve got to take care of my kids. I had two daughters. I’m not going to be, you know, a deadbeat dad and that’s just not who I am. And so I got to take care of my daughters. I got to find a way to support them, support myself and move on with life. And it was, it was a difficult time to get through that. But you know, you, you find motivation and you know, when motivation lacks, that’s when you kick in with discipline and you just keep pushing through.

Casey Clark (05:42):

Absolutely. So what are some resources that have helped you get through difficult times like that?

David Yarn (05:50):

Sure. I think that, for me, it comes down to three things. Family, friends, and faith my family, you know, being able to be there and support me and help me out. Again, not necessarily financially or things like that, but just being supportive. Friends, always being there by my side and again, pushing me to be the best version of me that I can be. And then, you know, faith believing in a power greater than my own plus believing in myself, you know, you have to learn to believe in yourself as well. And just kind of always relying on those three things. Awesome.

Casey Clark (06:29):

So if I’m hearing you, it’s sounds like that common thread is to believe in yourself, like, you know, as the foundation and that’s really how you thrive.

David Yarn (06:41):

You have to, I don’t think you can thrive if you don’t believe in yourself because that self doubt will always pull you down. If you, if you let it, you have to overcome it. It’s difficult. It’s a daily challenge for most people. And I think even confident people go through periods of self doubt. And it’s kind of like, you know, what we teach our children is, you know, bravery is not never having fear. Bravery is overcoming your fear. And the same thing goes for this. You know, thriving is not necessarily never facing adversity, it’s facing adversity and coming out on the other side. Absolutely.

Casey Clark (07:18):

So speaking of adversity, I mean, myself, I have had, you know, many adverse experiences as I’ve shared with you before. And it, for me, it like pushes me to kind of create that legacy and to really impact those who don’t see the light on the other side of the adverse situation. So talk to me a little bit about legacy and what that looks like for you. Cause I, I feel that it’s different for everyone.

David Yarn (07:50):

I think it is, but at the same time, I think it always, it’s always based on the same thing, right? I mean, for some people legacy, you might be leaving something for their children or grandchildren. You know, especially in my industry, as a financial advisor, that’s a lot what we deal with people who want to leave behind a financial legacy. But there’s other kinds of legacies as well. It’s what you teach the next generation the kind of values that you pass on. I think one of the biggest things that I’ve learned in life and I try to pass on it kind of goes back to the adversity side of it as well as again, you and I have talked about this a lot as well. I have chronic kidney stones and kidney stones are not fun. They are a lot of pain, but one thing that I’ve learned is that they go away.

David Yarn (08:39):

Pain does end. I think too often, we find ourselves in moments of pain where we think it’s never going to end. You can’t see the other side of it. And when you go through an experience that’s very painful. It’s always helpful to remember that it will come to an end at some point. And generally you’re going to look back on it. And a lot of times you don’t even remember how bad the pain was. I an interesting tidbit, I learned about women giving birth and I don’t know this is true or not, but it sounds pretty good. So I’m going to say it is that during childbirth, the body actually produces a chemical, which blocks the memory. So that, and, and if you ask women who had children, a lot of them don’t remember the pain of childbirth. And I don’t know if it’s just that the joy afterwards is so great that they don’t remember it or, or if it truly is that there’s this chemical, that blocks memory.

David Yarn (09:30):

But I think, you know, if people really remembered how much it hurt, they would never have more than one kid. Right? So but it does come to an end and we have this incredible ability inside of ourselves to overcome that. And so if you can pass that onto people, that you are much greater than what you could ever imagine, you are stronger than what you can ever imagine, and you have this innate ability to overcome. And so, especially when talking like, you know, legacy towards other generations, I mean that in of itself is a great legacy to leave behind, to teach them that principle. I think also being able to leave behind a legacy of just, you know, doing good things being there for other people if people remember things that you did for them more than what you gave to them, then, then that’s a pretty good legacy. Yeah.

Casey Clark (10:23):

I forget who said it, but someone said something along the lines of, it’s not what you leave for people. It’s what you leave in people. And I

David Yarn (10:34):

Absolutely, yeah, absolutely.

Casey Clark (10:39):

With you. I mean, obviously we’re all kind of the root of our legacy, but do you utilize anything else to just help you create a bigger impact, whether it be, you know, connections that you have with people or something specific that you learned?

David Yarn (10:57):

Oh, wow. I think that for me it comes down to just always being prepared to do the right thing. And trying to, I guess something that my, I mean, I learned from, you know, my parents, we all do, and I still very much look up to my mom and dad. And I think that they’ve taught me really good values. And some of the things that my dad taught me, he was military. I grew up in a military family down in Fort Bragg, North Carolina. But some of the things and values that he taught me about how to treat other people you know, being in the military and having command over people. One of the things he taught me was never ask a subordinate to do something that you’re not willing to do yourself. Something else he always taught me was, you know, you should be able to talk to the, and the janitor the same way and be able to have conversations in a connection with people no matter what their status is in life. Right. and then the other thing was, you know, whether you are the CEO or the janitor take pride in the work that you do and do it to the best of your abilities. And so I think those are the things that I try and just live by all the time. Yeah, absolutely.

Casey Clark (12:19):

You’ve given us countless nuggets so far. So do you have any specific nuggets that you’d like to share or advice for people who are maybe finding it a little difficult to thrive in their life?

David Yarn (12:33):

I do actually. And there’s two of them. I tried to narrow it down to just one, but there’s two of them and they’re kind of related, but they’re really good. And it’s interesting. One came from a 19 year old kid, you know I was 19 at the time two 20 maybe. And he said something that has always stuck with me. And so, you know, I was 20, that was a long time ago. But he said don’t be well known, just be worth knowing, ah, that really stuck out to me and has always been something that I’ve just, it’s always impressed me that, that nugget of wisdom, don’t, it doesn’t matter if you’re well known or not. What matters is if you’re worth knowing. And then the second one actually came from a much older gentleman. He was probably in his eighties when he said this. And he was quite the character, quite the storyteller. I think most of his stories were, we’ll just say embellished a little bit. But he said to me, he was the funniest guy, nice guy. And he said, this is line one time. And again, it stuck with me as well. He said there are only two kinds of people in the world, friends and people I haven’t met yet. And you know, that stuck out to me as well. There’s no reason anybody that I meet. Shouldn’t be a friend.

Casey Clark (13:51):

Yeah, absolutely. Well, I love it. Do you have any other things that are just burning inside that you’d like to share with us?

David Yarn (14:03):

Want me to keep talking? I can go on for hours. We want to keep the listeners on online, listening to this, you know, just go out and do your best and thrive.

Casey Clark (14:15):

Awesome. I love it. Well, thank you so much for being our guest today and I’m looking forward to continuing to thrive with you. And I’d also like to thank our sponsor, Stephen Lamar Moore, who produced our podcasts and music. So thank you all for listening.

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